“Never be ashamed of trying.”
今天再次回顾霉霉在纽约大学2022届毕业典礼上的演讲。
个人简介
泰勒·斯威夫特（Taylor Swift），1989年出生于美国宾夕法尼亚州，是当代全球最具影响力的顶级创作型流行歌手及音乐制作人。
- 早年追梦：受家庭支持与乡村音乐启蒙，14岁时全家搬迁至美国乡村乐圣地纳什维尔。她因卓越的词曲创作才华迅速被发掘，成为全美瞩目的乡村音乐新星。
- 音乐转型：她的音乐生涯极具跨界跨流派的统治力。从早期的乡村乐（《Fearless》）成功转型为全球流行天后（《1989》），后又在疫情期间探索了独立民谣风格（《Folklore》），展现出极其高产且惊人的创作迭代能力。
行业巅峰与影响：
她是格莱美历史上唯一一位四次斩获“年度专辑”最高奖项的音乐人。
2023年荣登《时代》杂志“年度风云人物”。
她通过“重录旧专辑计划”勇敢夺回版权，并积极为创作者维权，深刻重塑了现代音乐产业规则。
其席卷全球的“Eras Tour（时代巡回演唱会）”不仅打破票房纪录，更引发了现象级的“斯威夫特经济学”。
演讲稿内容
大家好，我是泰勒。上次在如此大的体育场时，我正踩着高跟鞋、穿着闪闪发光的紧身衣跳舞。现在这身可真是舒服多了。
Hi, I’m Taylor. Last time I was in a stadium this size, I was dancing in heels and wearing a glittery leotard. This outfit is much more comfortable.
我要向纽约大学董事会主席Bill Berkeley和其他所有成员、纽约大学校长Andrew Hamilton、教务长Katherine Fleming以及今天在座的教职员工和校友表达由衷的感谢，是他们让这一天成为可能。我很自豪能与同行领奖者Susan Hockfield和Felix Matos Rodriguez分享这一天，他们用自己工作改善了我们世界的方式，使我感到谦卑。至于我，我……90%相信自己在这里的主要原因是我有一首歌叫《22》。我只想说，我很高兴今天能在这里和你们一起庆祝、一起毕业于纽约大学2022届。
I’d like to say a huge thank you to NYU’s Chairman of the Board of Trustees, Bill Berkeley and all the trustees and members of the board, NYU’s President Andrew Hamilton, Provost Katherine Fleming, and the faculty and alumni here today who have made this day possible. I feel so proud to share this day with my fellow honorees Susan Hockfield and Felix Matos Rodriguez, who humble me with the ways they improve our world with their work. As for me, I’m…90% sure the main reason I’m here is because I have a song called ’22.’ And let me just say, I am elated to be here with you today as we celebrate and graduate New York University’s Class of 2022.
今天在座的所有人，没有一个是孤军奋战的。我们每个人都是由那些爱我们、相信我们未来的人、向我们展示同理心和善意的人、或在即使不那么入耳时依然告诉我们真相的人拼凑而成。那些在完全没有把握的情况下、鼓励我们做得到的人。有人为你讲过事，教你寻梦，提供一些对与错的道德准则供你尝试和生活。有人竭尽全力向你这个孩子解释这个疯狂复杂的世界中的每一个概念，因为你问了无数个问题，比如“月亮是如何工作的”和“为什么我们可以吃沙拉而不吃草”。也许他们做得并不完美，但也没有人能做到完美；也许他们已经不在我们身边了，如果是这样的话，我也希望你们今天能想起他们。如果他们在这个体育场，我希望你们能找到自己的方式来表达自己的感激，感谢一路以来为到达共同目标所经历的得与失。
Not a single one of us here today has done it alone. We are each a patchwork quilt of those who have loved us, those who have believed in our futures, those who showed us empathy and kindness or told us the truth even when it wasn’t easy to hear. Those who told us we could do it when there was absolutely no proof of that. Someone read stories to you and taught you to dream and offered up some moral code of right and wrong for you to try and live by. Someone tried their best to explain every concept in this insanely complex world to the child that was you, as you asked a bazillion questions like ‘how does the moon work’ and ‘why can we eat salad but not grass.’ And maybe they didn’t do it perfectly. No one ever can. Maybe they aren’t with us anymore, and in that case I hope you’ll remember them today. If they are here in this stadium,I hope you’ll find your own way to express your gratitude for all the steps and missteps that have led us to this common destination.
我知道文字应该是我自己的“专长”，但我永远无法找到合适的话来感谢我的妈妈和爸爸，还有我的兄弟Austin，感谢他们每天做出的牺牲，使我能够告别在咖啡馆唱歌，到今天和你们一起站在这里，因为没有任何语言足够表达这份感激的。对于今天在这里支持学生追求教育丰富性的所有了不起的父母、家人、导师、老师、校友们、朋友和亲人，请让我现在对你们说一句：欢迎来到纽约，它一直都等待着你的到来。
I know that words are supposed to be my ‘thing’, but I will never be able to find the words to thank my mom and my dad, and my brother, Austin, for the sacrifices they made every day so that I could go from singing in coffee houses to standing up here with you all today because no words would ever be enough. To all the incredible parents, family members, mentors, teachers, allies, friends and loved ones here today who have supported these students in their pursuit of educational enrichment, let me say to you now: Welcome to New York. It’s been waiting for you.
我要感谢纽约大学让我技术上，至少在纸面上，成为一名Doctor。当然不是你们在紧急情况下想要的那种“Doctor”，除非你们的特殊紧急情况是迫切需要听到一首歌，一首带有朗朗上口的歌词，和强烈宣泄桥段的歌曲；或者你们的紧急情况是需要一个可以在1分钟内列举50多种类型猫的人。
I’d like to thank NYU for making me technically, on paper at least, a doctor. Not the type of doctor you would want around in the case of an emergency, unless your specific emergency was that you desperately needed to hear a song with a catchy hook and an intensely cathartic bridge section. Or if your emergency was that you needed a person who can name over 50 breeds of cats in one minute.
本质上来说，我从来没有经历过真正普通的大学生活。我公立高中上到十年级，在机场航站楼的地板上完成了学业。之后，我进行了一场在公路上的电台巡回演出，听起来很迷人，但实际上，这场巡演仅仅是由一辆出租汽车、汽车旅馆、以及我和我妈在登机时假装母女吵架、以防有人想坐在西南角的我们之间所组成。
I never got to have the normal college experience, per se. I went to public high school until tenth grade and finished my education doing homeschool work on the floors of airport terminals. Then I went out on the road on a radio tour, which sounds incredibly glamorous but in reality it consisted of a rental car, motels, and my mom and I pretending to have loud mother daughter fights with each other during boarding so no one would want the empty seat between us on Southwest.
小时候，我常常想着自己会去哪所大学，幻想着我会在新生宿舍墙上挂什么样的海报。我甚至把我梦想中的大学生活拍成了“Love Story”MV的结尾，在那里我遇到了一个在草地上看书的男模特儿，只须看一眼，就意识到我们曾在前世相爱过，这不正是你们在过去4年中的某个时刻所经历的，对吗？
As a kid, I always thought I would go away to college, imagining the posters I’d hang on the wall of my freshmen dorm. I even set the ending of my music video for my song “Love Story” at my fantasy imaginary college, where I meet a male model reading a book on the grass and with one single glance, we realize we had been in love in our past lives. Which is exactly what you guys all experienced at some point in the last 4 years, right?
但我真的不能向你们抱怨自己没有正常的大学经历，因为你们是在疫情期间上的纽约大学，基本上被隔离在宿舍里或不得不通过Zoom上课。正常情况下，每位大学生都为考试成绩感到压力，但你们还必须通过无数次核酸检验。我想，拥有正常的大学经历也是你们所渴望的。但这种情况下，我们都学到了，你不会总是得到你在外送服务菜单上所选择的东西，这就是生活。你得到你所能得到的。正如我想对你们说的，全心全意地，你们应该为自己所做的一切感到自豪。今天你们将离开纽约大学，走向世界，寻找下一个目标。我也将如此。
But I really can’t complain about not having a normal college experience to you because you went to NYU during a global pandemic, being essentially locked into your dorms or having to do classes over Zoom. Everyone in college during normal times stresses about test scores, but on top of that you also had to pass like a thousand COVID tests. I imagine the idea of a normal college experience was all you wanted too. But in this case you and I both learned that you don’t always get all the things in the bag that you selected from the menu in the delivery service that is life. You get what you get. And as I would like to say to you, you should be very proud of what you’ve done with it. Today you leave New York University and then you go out into the world searching for what’s next. And so will I.
因此作为一项规则，除非是被要求，我尽量不给任何人提供不请自来的建议。稍后我会详细阐述。我想，在今天这种情况下我已被正式要求传授任何我可能拥有的智慧，并告诉你们迄今为止对我的生活有帮助的事情。请记住，我绝对没有资格告诉你们该做什么。你们在这里工作、奋斗、牺牲、学习和梦想，所以，你们知道自己在做什么。你们做事的方式和原因，也会跟我不尽相同。
So as a rule, I try not to give anyone unsolicited advice unless they ask for it. I’ll go into this more later. I guess I have been officially solicited in this situation, to impart whatever wisdom I might have and tell you the things that helped me in my life so far. Please bear in mind that I, in no way, feel qualified to tell you what to do. You’ve worked and struggled and sacrificed and studied and dreamed your way here today and so, you know what you’re doing. You’ll do things differently than I did them and for different reasons.
所以我不会告诉你们该怎么做，因为没人喜欢这样。
So I won’t tell you what to do because no one likes that.
但我将会提供一些希望我在开始职业生涯时就能知道的生活小窍门，以及在生活、爱情、压力、选择、羞耻、希望和友谊的生活诀窍。
I will, however, give you some life hacks I wish I knew when I was starting out my dreams of a career, and navigating life, love, pressure, choices, shame, hope and friendship.
第一，生活可能很沉重，特别是当你试图背负这一切的时候。
成长和进入生活新篇章的一部分，是关于抓取和释放。我的意思是，知道什么要保留，什么要放手。你不能背负所有的东西，所有的怨恨，所有关于你前任的最新消息，或者校霸在他叔叔创办的对冲基金公司中得到的所有令人羡慕的晋升。决定什么是你要保留的，其余的就放手吧。很多时候，生活中的美好事物总是更轻松，所以也有更多的空间来容纳它们。而一段糟糕的关系可以重过许多美妙、简单的快乐。你可以自由选择哪些东西来填补你的时间和空间。请保持辨别力。
The first of which is…life can be heavy, especially if you try to carry it all at once. Part of growing up and moving into new chapters of your life is about catch and release. What I mean by that is, knowing what things to keep, and what things to release. You can’t carry all things, all grudges, all updates on your ex, all enviable promotions your school bully got at the hedge fund his uncle started. Decide what is yours to hold and let the rest go. Oftentimes the good things in your life are lighter anyway, so there’s more room for them. One toxic relationship can outweigh so many wonderful, simple joys. You get to pick what your life has time and room for. Be discerning.
其次，学会与尴尬或难为情共存。
无论你多么努力地避免它们，你都会在回顾你的生活时，伴随着尴尬或难为情。这些在一生中是无法避免的。甚至“cringe”这个词也有朝一日可能被视为“尴尬、难为情”。我敢肯定，你们现在可能正在做着或穿着一些以后回头看会发现反感和搞笑的东西。你们无法避免它，所以不要尝试着去避免。例如，我有一个阶段，在整个2012年，我穿得像个50年代的家庭主妇。但你们知道吗？我当时很开心。潮流趋势和人生阶段是有趣的。回头看，笑一笑也很有趣。
Secondly, learn to live alongside cringe. No matter how hard you try to avoid being cringe, you will look back on your life and cringe retrospectively. Cringe is unavoidable over a lifetime. Even the term ‘cringe’ might someday be deemed ‘cringe.’ I promise you, you’re probably doing or wearing something right now that you will look back on later and find revolting and hilarious. You can’t avoid it, so don’t try to. For example, I had a phase where, for the entirety of 2012, I dressed like a 1950s housewife. But you know what? I was having fun. Trends and phases are fun. Looking back and laughing is fun.
当我们谈论让我们感到不安但实际上不应该的事情时，我想说的是，我是一个提倡不隐藏对事物的热情的提倡者。在我看来，热情在我们的“无忧无虑的矛盾心理”文化中有一种虚假的污名，这种态度延续了这样的想法， “想要”是不酷的，认为不努力的人从根本上讲比努力的人更时髦。我无法知道，因为我做过很多事情，但我从来都不是“时髦”方面的专家。但我是那个站在这里的人，所以当我这样说时，你必须听：永远不要为尝试感到羞耻。不劳而获是一个神话。最不想尝试的人只是我高中时想约会和成为朋友的人，而最想尝试的人是我现在雇用来为我的公司工作的人。
And while we’re talking about things that make us squirm but really shouldn’t, I’d like to say that I’m a big advocate for not hiding your enthusiasm for things. It seems to me that there is a false stigma around eagerness in our culture of ‘unbothered ambivalence.’ This outlook perpetuates the idea that it’s not cool to ‘want it.’ That people who don’t try hard are fundamentally more chic than people who do. And I wouldn’t know because I have been a lot of things but I’ve never been an expert on ‘chic.’ But I’m the one who’s up here so you have to listen to me when I say this: Never be ashamed of trying. Effortlessness is a myth. The people who wanted it the least were the ones I wanted to date and be friends with in high school. The people who want it most are the people I now hire to work for my company.
我从12岁时开始写歌，从那时起，它就成为了我生活的指南针，反过来，我的生活也指导了我的创作。我所做的一切都只是我创作的延伸，无论是导演视频还是短片，为巡演创造视觉效果，还是站在舞台上表演。这一切都与我对这项工作的热爱有关，让我获得通过理清想法、缩小范围、并将其打磨成功的快感。编辑。半夜醒来，摒弃旧的想法，只是因为你想到了一个全新的、更好的想法。一个情节设置，将整个故事联系到一起。他们称之为“hook”是有原因的。有时单单一串文字就会让我深陷其中，在它被记录或写下来之前无法专注于任何事情。
I started writing songs when I was twelve and since then, it’s been the compass guiding my life, and in turn, my life guided my writing. Everything I do is just an extension of my writing, whether it’s directing videos or a short film, creating the visuals for a tour, or standing on stage performing. Everything is connected by my love of the craft, the thrill of working through ideas and narrowing them down and polishing it all up in the end. Editing. Waking up in the middle of the night and throwing out the old idea because you just thought of a newer, better one. A plot device that ties the whole thing together. There’s a reason they call it a hook. Sometimes a string of words just ensnares me and I can’t focus on anything until it’s been recorded or written down.
作为一个作词者，我不能坐以待毙、或者在一个创意区停驻太久。我已经制作并发行了11张专辑，在这过程中，我转换许多种类，从乡村到流行，到另类、再到民谣。这好像一个非常作词曲者中心的讨论，但某种程度来说，我真的认为我们都是作家。大多数的我们都会在不同的情况下用不同的声音写作，你在Instagram的限时内容与你的毕业论文中的不同。你向老板发送的电子邮件与给你家人、最好的朋友的电子邮件是不同的。我们都是文学的变色龙，而我认为这很迷人，这只是大多时候，我们想法多面性的延续。而且我知道，搞清楚要成为谁、何时成为、你现在是谁、要如何行动才能到达你想去的地方，这些会让人不知所措。对此我有一些好消息：这完全取决于你。但我还有一些可怕的消息：这完全取决于你。
As a songwriter I’ve never been able to sit still, or stay in one creative place for too long. I’ve made and released 11 albums and in the process, I’ve switched genres from country to pop to alternative to folk. This might sound like a very songwriter-centric line of discussion but in a way, I really do think we are all writers. And most of us write in a different voice for different situations. You write differently in your Instagram stories than you do your senior thesis. You send a different type of email to your boss than you do your best friend from home. We are all literary chameleons and I think it’s fascinating. It’s just a continuation of the idea that we are so many things, all the time. And I know it can be really overwhelming figuring out who to be, and when. Who you are now and how to act in order to get where you want to go. I have some good news: it’s totally up to you. I also have some terrifying news: it’s totally up to you.
我先前说过，除非有人要求，我从来不提供建议，现在我会告诉你们为什么。作为一个15岁就开始我众所周知的职业生涯的人，是有代价的。这个代价就是多年不请自来的建议。在十多年来，作为每个房间里最年轻的人，意味着我不断收到音乐界的前辈、媒体、记者和高管的警告。这些建议常常以隐晦的警告形式出现。看，我那时还是一个在我们的社会完全沉迷于拥有完美年轻女性榜样的想法时的青少年。感觉就像我所做的每一次采访，都包括记者对我有一天“脱轨”的轻微挖苦，这对每个来对我说的人也意味着不同的事情。因此，我成为了一个年轻的大人，同时被灌输了这样一个信息：如果我不犯任何错误，美国所有的孩子长大都会成为完美的天使。但是，如果我真的出错了，整个地球都会从它的轴心上掉下来，这完全是我的错，我会永远永远地被关进流行歌星的监狱。这一切都围绕着这样一个想法:即犯错等于失败，并最终失去了任何幸福或有意义的生活的机会。
I said to you earlier that I don’t ever offer advice unless someone asks me for it, and now I’ll tell you why. As a person who started my very public career at the age of 15, it came with a price. And that price was years of unsolicited advice. Being the youngest person in every room for over a decade meant that I was constantly being issued warnings from older members of the music industry, the media, interviewers, executives. This advice often presented itself as thinly veiled warnings. See, I was a teenager in the public eye at a time when our society was absolutely obsessed with the idea of having perfect young female role models. It felt like every interview I did included slight barbs by the interviewer about me one day ‘running off the rails.’ That meant a different thing to everyone person said it me.So I became a young adult while being fed the message that if I didn’t make any mistakes, all the children of America would grow up to be perfect angels. However, if I did slip up, the entire earth would fall off its axis and it would be entirely my fault and I would go to pop star jail forever and ever. It was all centered around the idea that mistakes equal failure and ultimately, the loss of any chance at a happy or rewarding life.
但我的经验却并非如此。我的经验是，我的错误也带来了生命中那些最美好的事情。当我们搞砸了某件事情而感到尴尬也是必要的人生体验。重新站起来，掸掸灰尘，然后看看谁在经历磨难之后仍愿意跟你站在一起，并一起笑对磨难的人，那是个命运的礼物。回头看那些我被拒绝、被排斥、落选、失败、未晋级的时刻，就会体会到被否定和被肯定一样重要，甚至更重要。
This has not been my experience. My experience has been that my mistakes led to the best things in my life. And being embarrassed when you mess up is part of the human experience. Getting back up, dusting yourself off and seeing who still wants to hang out with you afterward and laugh about it? That’s a gift. The times I was told no or wasn’t included, wasn’t chosen, didn’t win, didn’t make the cut…looking back, it really feels like those moments were as important, if not more crucial, than the moments I was told ‘yes.’
在家乡的时候，没有被邀请去参加派对或过夜，让我感到深深的孤独，也正是因为孤独，我才能够坐在房间里去写歌，拿到其他地方的入场卷。纳什维尔的唱片公司高管跟我说，只有35岁的家庭主妇才会听乡村音乐，而且他们的花名册也没有一个十三岁小孩的位置，让我在回家的车上哭了。但后来，我把我的歌曲放到了MySpace上，没错，就是MySpace，同时也在跟上面的其他和我一样喜爱乡村音乐的年轻人互相留言，却找不到一首歌能唱出他们的心声。有很多记者撰写关于我的文章都是具批评性的，这让我觉得自己仿佛生活在一种奇怪的模拟世界中，但也让我开始自省，去了解真正的我到底是什么样的人。在整个世界看我的感情生活就像看球赛一样，而且我每一场都输了，在我十几二十岁的时候，可不是一个很好的约会方式；但也教会我如何无畏地保护好我的私生活。年轻时经历无数次地公开羞辱，虽然让当时的我非常痛苦，但也迫使我快速地学会了不要在意那些荒谬可笑的言论，看淡那些分秒必争、不断波动的社会相关性和大众好感度。那次被取消几乎毁掉了我的事业，但也让我成为了一名出色的品酒师。
Not being invited to the parties and sleepovers in my hometown made me feel hopelessly lonely, but because I felt alone, I would sit in my room and write the songs that would get me a ticket somewhere else. Having label executives in Nashville tell me that only 35 year old housewives listen to country music and there was no place for a 13 year old on their roster made me cry in the car on the way home. But then I’d post my songs on my MySpace and yes, MySpace, and would message with other teenagers like me who loved country music, but just didn’t have anyone singing from their perspective. Having journalists write in-depth, oftentimes critical, pieces about who they perceive me to be made me feel like I was living in some weird simulation, but it also made me look inward to learn about who I actually am. Having the world treat my love life like a spectator sport in which I lose every single game was not a great way to date in my teens and twenties, but it taught me to protect my private life fiercely. Being publicly humiliated over and over again at a young age was excruciatingly painful but it forced me to devalue the ridiculous notion of minute by minute, ever fluctuating social relevance and likability. Getting canceled on the internet and nearly losing my career gave me an excellent knowledge of all the types of wine.
我知道我听起来像一个完美的乐观主义者，但我真的不是。我经常失去方向。有时一切都感觉完全没有意义。我知道从完美主义的角度过好自己的生活所带来的压力。我知道我正在和一群完美主义者交谈，因为你们今天是从纽约大学毕业的。所以你们这些话，你们可能很难接受：在你们的生活中，你不可避免地会说错话，相信错误的人，反应过慢，反应过度，伤害不该伤害的人，过度思考，根本不思考，自我破坏，创造一个只有你经验存在的现实，毁掉自己和他人的完美时光，否认任何错误，不采取措施纠正，感到非常内疚，让内疚吞噬你，跌入谷底，最终设法解决你造成的痛苦，尝试下次做得更好，洗涤，反覆。我也没打算撒谎，这些错误会导致你失去一些东西。
I know I sound like a consummate optimist, but I’m really not. I lose perspective all the time. Sometimes everything just feels completely pointless. I know the pressure of living your life through the lens of perfectionism. And I know that I’m talking to a group of perfectionists because you are here today graduating from NYU. And so this may be hard for you to hear: In your life, you will inevitably misspeak, trust the wrong people, under-react, overreact, hurt the people who didn’t deserve it, overthink, not think at all, self sabotage, create a reality where only your experience exists, ruin perfectly good moments for yourself and others, deny any wrongdoing, not take the steps to make it right, feel very guilty, let the guilt eat at you, hit rock bottom, finally address the pain you caused, try to do better next time, rinse, repeat.And I’m not gonna lie, these mistakes will cause you to lose things.
我想告诉你们，失去东西并不仅仅意味着失去。很多时候，当我们失去一些东西时，我们也会收获到一些东西。
I’m trying to tell you that losing things doesn’t just mean losing. A lot of the time, when we lose things, we gain things too.
现在你们离开了学校的条条框框，开始规划自己的道路。你们的每一个选择都会导致下一个选择，而下一个选择又会引至再下一个选择，我也知道有时很难知道该走哪条路。生活中总会有需要为自己挺身而出的时候；那些当正确的做法是退缩和道歉的时候；那些当正确的做法是战斗的时候；那些当正确的做法是转身逃跑的时候。那些需要我们全力以赴的坚持的时候，那些需要优雅的放手的时候。有时，正确的做法是抛弃老旧的思想、以进步和改革的名义。有时，正确的做法是听取前人的智慧。但，你们又怎么会知道在这些关键时刻时，正确的选择是什么呢？你不会知道的。
Now you leave the structure and framework of school and chart your own path. Every choice you make leads to the next choice which leads to the next, and I know it’s hard to know sometimes which path to take. There will be times in life when you need to stand up for yourself. Times when the right thing is to back down and apologize. Times when the right thing is to fight, times when the right thing is to turn and run. Times to hold on with all you have and times to let go with grace. Sometimes the right thing to do is to throw out the old schools of thought in the name of progress and reform. Sometimes the right thing to do is to listen to the wisdom of those who have come before us. How will you know what the right choice is in these crucial moments? You won’t.
我又该怎么给这么多人提供人生选择的建议呢？我不会的。坏消息是，你们现在要靠自己了。好消息是，你们现在终于可以靠自己了。
How do I give advice to this many people about their life choices? I won’t. Scary news is: you’re on your own now. Cool news is: You’re on your own now.
我给大家最后留下这些话：我们是被内心深处的本能、直觉、欲望、恐惧、伤疤和梦想所引导的。有时你们会搞砸事情，我也一样。而当我搞砸的时候，你们大概都会在网路上看到。无论如何……困难的事情都会发生在我们身上。我们会走出困境，我们会吸取教训，我们也会因此变得更有韧性。
I leave you with this: We are led by our gut instincts, our intuition, our desires and fears, our scars and our dreams. And you will screw it up sometimes. So will I. And when I do, you will most likely read about on the internet. Anyway…hard things will happen to us. We will recover. We will learn from it. We will grow more resilient because of it.
只要我们有幸还在呼吸，我们就会吸气、呼吸、深呼吸、呼气。我现在作为一名“doctor”，所以我知道呼吸是如何运作的。
As long as we are fortunate enough to be breathing, we will breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out. And I’m a doctor now, so I know how breathing works.
我希望你们知道我是多么荣幸能和你们分享这一天。我们会一起完成这件事，就让我们一起跳舞，就像2022届学生那样吧！
I hope you know how proud I am to share this day with you. We’re doing this together. So let’s just keep dancing like we’re…the class of 22.
又到一年毕业季。
最近重温了泰勒在纽约大学的毕业演讲，心里有一股细碎的触动。仔细想想，距离自己走出校门，居然已经过去两年了。日子过得真快，快到许多事情还没来得及在记忆里沉淀，学生时代就被悄悄留在身后了。以前总觉得，毕业会是一个特别有仪式感的节点，就像电影里演的那样，大家一起把学士帽抛向天空，然后头也不回地奔向各自的人生。可经历过才知道，成长其实是没有声音的。它更像是一场缓慢涨起来的潮水，起初你根本不觉得自己在变，直到某天滑动手机相册，整理聊天记录，看到以前网购的收货地址，或者无意中点开某个很久没聊天的头像，才忽然发现，大家在不知不觉中，都已经走了很远。
偶尔刷一刷社交平台，看着大家的动态，心里总是有些感慨。人生的路，在毕业两年后好像自然而然地分岔了。那个以前总爱美的小姑娘，现在在朋友圈里分享宝宝的日常，和柴米油盐的细碎日子；有的人依旧保留着上学时的热烈，会为了喜欢的歌手跨越好几座城市，去听一场演唱会。有的人开始学着做手工、养花、做饭，把自己的小日子打理得妥帖安静；有人骑着摩托车去看海，有人背着包独自去旅行。当然，更多的人和自己一样，在早高峰的地铁里踩着规律的节奏，偶尔也会抬头想想未来的样子。大家都在过着完全不同的人生。
以前上学的时候，我们总以为生活会有某种统一的准则，只要努力读书、顺利毕业、找到一份安稳的工作，就是走在了正确的轨道上。可毕业后才发现，生活从来不是标准化生产的产品。有人偏爱稳定的港湾，有人向往自由的旷野；有人喜欢热闹的烟火，有人更享受独处的清静。成年之后，人与人之间最大的不同，不再是成绩单上的数字，而是各自选择的生活方式。
泰勒在演讲里说：“成长的一部分，是学会抓取与释放。”温柔地戳中了我的心。成熟大概并不是一件件去占有更多东西，而是看清自己真正的需要，知道什么该留下，什么该放手。这两年里，我能明显感觉到自己开始做减法，开始主动去筛选一些东西。关系、情绪、欲望。上学时我们总觉得人生应该是一个不断做加法的过程，要去认识更多的朋友，获得更多的认可。真正让人感到疲惫的，往往不是拥有得太少，而是身上背负了太多别人的期待和无聊的比较。
人其实是不可能不犯错的，泰勒说，要学会与尴尬共存。我很喜欢这种坦然。成长本来就是一个不断回头看、觉得自己有点傻的过程。（互联网流行的“没开智”）。我们会为以前说过的某句话感到不好意思，也会为过去拼命想融入某个圈子的自己觉得好笑。但如果没有那些笨拙和不成熟的瞬间，我们又怎么能一步步走到今天呢。现在的网络总是喜欢展示一种“毫不费力”的完美生活，好像真正厉害的人从来都不会焦虑和迷茫。可真实的生活从来都是有晴有雨的。不要为自己的努力感到羞耻，那些在深夜里默默坚持的人，那些认真工作、认真爱人、认真对待一草一木的人，都在很踏实地活着。认真，本就是一件很温柔也有力量的事。
进入社会，大概是我们第一次真正开始面对生活里的“不确定”。学校里的逻辑很简单，付出和收获之间往往有着清晰的联系。可走入社会后，许多事情并没有标准答案。你很真诚，也可能会被误解；你付出了全部的努力，可能也只是刚刚赶上别人的起点。但人生并不是一条只能一往无前的直线，有人绕远路，有人停下来看风景，有人重新开始，也有人突然转弯。那些曾经让我们感到挫败和迷茫的时刻，最终都会变成生命里的养分，滋养出更温润的自己。
“失去并不单单意味着失去。很多时候，当我们失去一些东西时，也会得到一些东西。”
那些慢慢淡出生活的朋友，那些没有实现的期待，其实并不是因为我们做错了什么，只是大家的人生阶段不同了。我们终究留不住那个被夕阳拉长影子的夏天。毕业的成长，某种意义上就是学会自己托住自己。就像演讲最后说的那样：“不幸的是，你现在要靠自己了；庆幸的是，你终于可以靠自己了。”我们开始为自己的选择和人生负责，虽然偶尔会害怕，但这也意味着，我们终于拥有了真正定义自己生活的权利。
有人继续奔跑，有人暂时停靠；有人仍在寻找答案，也有人已经学会和生活本身慢慢和解。
“继续？”
“好！”